Leading when you don’t have all the answers – how to embrace your fear

I read this quote and thought to myself - yes, of course it is, it’s like the swan analogy in a sentence.

But then I thought differently.

Because yes, leadership often means keeping a steady hand when everything feels like it’s on fire. But does that mean we should be hiding altogether?

Actually...... no.

True leadership isn’t about pretending you have all the answers or masking the chaos, it’s about standing in the storm, feeling the weight of it, and choosing to lead regardless, especially when you don’t have all the answers. It’s about being transparent, being brave, and showing up even when you’d rather disappear into the background.

Showing vulnerability when you don't have all the answers

Many leaders, especially new ones, find ways to hide (yes, you know who you are). They bury themselves in endless tasks to avoid the harder conversations. Some over-rely on email to avoid face-to-face interactions (now we could do another whole blog on email sending, but not today). Some leaders stay silent in meetings, hoping no one asks for their opinion – and again there’s a duality here. That’s because leading a meeting should be about the leader being quiet so that they hear the team’s ideas and suggestions.

But let’s be honest, we’ve all had moments where we’d rather blend into the wallpaper than step up and take ownership.

Let’s face it though, leadership isn’t about being comfortable. Real leadership growth - the kind that shapes you into a leader worth following - happens on the edge of discomfort. It’s in the moments where you have to make a difficult decision, give honest feedback, or admit, as a leader, when you don’t have all the answers.

If this resonates with you then I’d like to invite you to take a moment to reflect on your practice by considering the following provocations:

·       When do you find yourself retreating instead of leading?

·       What conversations or situations make you want to hide?

·       How can you step into these moments with more courage?

Showing courage when you don’t have all the answers

So how do you step into those challenging moments when you don’t have all the answers?

You do that with courage, bravery and transparency.

Being transparent does not mean offloading every fear and insecurity you have on your team. It doesn’t mean sharing every detail of your stress, but it does mean being courageous with your authenticity. Courageous, authentic leadership is about striking the balance - being open, but not oversharing; being vulnerable, but never a defeatist.

That means saying things like:

“I don’t have the answer yet, but I’m working on it,” rather than pretending to know it all.

It means admitting, “That didn’t go to plan, let’s regroup and we’ll share our thoughts,” instead of sweeping mistakes under the carpet.

It means owning your leadership without hiding behind a polished, perfect façade, and admitting when you don’t have all the answers, but still choosing to lead with confidence and clarity.

What about you?:

·       How do you currently balance transparency and professionalism with your team?

·       Are there areas where you could be more open without oversharing?

·       How do you ensure your honesty fosters trust rather than fear?

Embracing discomfort: where growth happens

I get it. I run my own business, and every day, I have to step up. There’s no safety net. No boss to lean on. Just me, making decisions, putting myself out there, and leading in my own way. And let me tell you—there have been plenty of moments when I’ve wanted to hide. When I’ve questioned everything. When I’ve felt the weight of responsibility pressing down.

But every time I choose to show up - every time I push through the discomfort - I grow. And that’s what leadership is.

Not perfection.

Not pretending.

But showing up, being real, and leading anyway, especially when you don’t have all the answers.

You see as a business owner I don’t have the luxury of hiding. I just take a deep breath and step into the unknown, braving the discomfort of not having all the answers.

For me, it’s not having leadership discussions that worry me - I can hold my own in any forum when it comes to discussing and sharing content about leadership development. The discomfort for me comes from ‘business’ stuff, like ensuring my mailing list works correctly, or running a webinar which relies on newly acquired tech skills. When you’re used to having a team to lean on it can be daunting when you don’t have that back-up support.

Where do you sit with discomfort?:

·       As a leader, where are you currently hiding?

·       What’s one step you can take today to show up more fully?

·       How can you embrace discomfort as a sign of growth?

Aligning leadership with your values

The one important link in it all is our values. For us to be courageous and authentic in our leadership we require a deep connection to our personal and professional values. When your actions align with your core beliefs, you lead with integrity and inspire trust. It’s when we are misaligned with our values that we can feel internal conflict which can hinder our effectiveness, especially when as leaders don’t have all the answers.

Say, for example, a core value of yours is integrity, then misleading people about your knowledge, understanding or experience could leave you feeling uncomfortable.

Finding the sweet spot for you that allows you to still feel credible, knowledgeable and experienced without leaving yourself feeling exposed and open to criticism is key.

To gain confidence, you might wish to practice some scripted responses that build confidence in you, but allow you to find answers elsewhere, retaining your integrity, such as:

“I have some great ideas, but I’m going to check with my team before sharing with you – I just want to make sure we provide you with the best outcome possible.”

or

“This is not my area of expertise, but this is definitely the strength of my team. Let me arrange a call with a couple of key people who will find a great solution for you.”

If company values are being compromised in someone’s behaviour you should call that out to ensure your team are walking the walk. For some leaders, that means having a difficult conversation, and it’s something as leaders we need to get comfortable with. It’s often one of the main challenges leaders avoid and hide from. In my next blog I will talk about managing difficult conversations, so make sure to look out for that.

So take a minute to reflect:

·       What are your core values, and how do they influence your leadership style?

·       Are there moments when you feel out of sync with your values at work?

·       How can you realign your leadership practices to better reflect your values?

For a deeper exploration of aligning your leadership with your values, you might find my blog post Unlocking the Power of Your Values: How Aligned Are You with Your Organisation? insightful.

The power of having boundaries in your leadership

If not having all the answers or enough experience leaves you feeling overwhelmed and slightly out of control, then setting clear boundaries is essential to help you regulate your emotions and avoid stress and burnout. Understanding and communicating your limits helps create a sustainable leadership approach.

You’ll find some really useful insights on the importance of boundaries in this blog The Power of Boundaries.

Again, take a minute to reflect:

·       Where might you need to establish or reinforce boundaries in your leadership role?

·       How do you communicate your boundaries to your team?

·       What impact do your current boundaries have on your well-being and leadership effectiveness?

So to conclude, if you’ve been hiding because you feel you’re a leader who doesn’t have all the answers - consider this your nudge forward.

Remember, your team doesn’t need a leader who has all the answers. They need one who’s willing to stand in the unknown and lead with honesty, courage, and heart.

They need you to own your leadership, regardless of where you are on your journey.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on leading when you don’t have all the answers. Why not share your thoughts below.

If you are feeling like you need some support with finding your courage, then click below for a free catch up together.